Hobo Reviews
by Pilm
Summary: The hobo from The Amazing World of Gumball reviews the fanfics from this archive.
1. Darwin's First

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**Darwin's First**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. SPOLIERS!

There's this fish named Darwin who is really kind and can walk on two feet. And he's thinking about why a cloud girl hasn't talked to him after an incident that happened in a tree house.

And he stops paying attention in class and looks at a ghost named Carrie. And the ghost girl is like 'what the heck.'

So he then looks away and thinks to himself 'was that girl looking at me before I looked at her?'

Then the teacher calls his name and says 'are you paying attention?' And he says 'yes and says we're learning multiplication tables.' She then says 'yes but watt was the question?' The ghost girl then says twelve times two. And then he says it and she says okay but whats the answer. Then he says twenty-four. You know maybe I should go back to school to learn my multiplication.

So then the bell rings and Darwin decides to talk to Carrie. As he follows her she says 'what' and he says he wants to thank her for helping him. She then says 'whatever.'

He then asked can we talk in private. She then says 'fine.' So they go to this corner and talk. He then asks her why the cloud girl hasn't talked to him.

She then calls him stupid and tell him that he didn't really kiss the cloud girl. Then he's like 'WHAAAAAAAAAT?'

She then tells him that he kissed a boy. He then realises that he kissed his brother. EWWWWW!

He's then sad because he never got his first kiss from a girl and she asked 'Do you want your first kiss to be from a girl?' Then he's like 'WHAAAAAAAAAAT?'

He's then says 'I can't do that because then I would cheat on my girlfriend.' Good man being christian. She then tells him that the cloud girl isn't his girlfriend and that he's stupid...AGAIN!

He then starts to cry and then says 'okay...' She then tells him to close his eyes and pucker his lips and then they kiss.

She then pulled away and then he asks 'why?' Then she says 'Why what?' He then says 'Why did you kiss me?' She then says because she actually thinks he's cute.

She then says she has to go and he offers to go with her. Then she says 'whatever.'

Then they walk away.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


	2. The Greatest Prank Ever

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**The Greatest Prank Ever**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. 3, 2, 1, SPOLIERS!

So there's this bomb that's about to destroy the whole school and turns out it was suppost to be the greatest prank ever. And there's this fish and cat named Darwin and Gumball and there like 'OH MY GOD WHERE GONNA DIE.' 'WHAT WENT WRONG?'

So it turns out that they were trying to beat a prank by this colored person named To Bye Us. And Gumball is like 'If this blows there wont be anything to worry about.' And the fish wipes his nose off on his wrist. I had no idea fish had noses.

Then the fish calms down asks if he could clean up the remains of a banana. BACK AWAY THATS MY BANANA REMAINS!

Then they start saying this like 'he sure does look aPALLing.' 'He sure looks aPPEALing.' 'He looks like a pair of slippers' 'That bananas not peeling very well.'

Then the countdown starts. And they say what they regret. I regret dropping out of high school. I regret that I spent all the lottery winnings on a garbage can.

And Gumball starts to bleed. So the fish then apologies for not being able to beat the colored guys prank. That they could beat waxing over the floors with butter. **(Starts to eat the remains of butter from an empty butter case) **Mmm buttery.

And they start to say 'I wish I could see that guys face one last time before I die.'

And the countdown is at 15 seconds.

So they Gumball is like 'Darwin its been a pleasure pranking with you today.'

3 SECONDS

'I love you Gumball.' 'I love you to Darwin.'

BOOOOOOM

But before it ends it shows To Bye Us in class and what he got on a test. -7. *GASP* He did better than I did.

And as it ends it truly and will forever be known as, the greatest fanfic ever.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


	3. Its the Thought that Counts

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**Its the Thought that Counts**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. Will you be my- SPOLIERS!

Its Valentine's Day and Gumball finally popped the question to this girl named Hay Penny. 'Penny will you go out with me for Valentine Day?' And she like 'YES!' and he gives her chocolate. CHOCOLATE!

She then eats all the candy and gives Gumball a card. 'Peanut Butter can get sticky at times...but my favorite part is when it makes us stick together.'

She then gets sleepy and passes out on her sofa and Gumball takes the chocolates while she's sleeping. YOU JERK! YOU COULD HAVE GIVEN THAT TO ME!

Soon Penny wakes up and finds out she's chained up and sees the person who did this was Gumball. Dun Dun DUUUUUUNNNNNN!

So it turns out that this is Gumball's idea for a Valentine's Day date. And she's like 'Where am I? What's going? Why are you doing this? Why do I have antlers?' Wow Gumball's right she does ask a lot of questions.

He then touches her face and asked. **(Joker impersonation) **'Why so nervous?'

She then apologies for the card she gave him the card. And he's like 'No I'm sorry I shouldnt be doing this. I'll let you go.' 'Really?' 'No'

Then he puts a wooden stool on her head and snaps off one of her antlers. **(Breaks a twig)**

And he like 'I love you Penny.' **(Starts hitting a doll with a broken stool)**

And Gumball goes into the shadows leaving Penny severally injured. There was blood and bruises everywhere. I'm mean she was so hurt that she was crying.

Then the chains are like 'Ching.' and she's released. She then like 'HELP SOMEBODY HELP ME!' Then Gumball comes back and says 'Were in a place where no one can find us.' Then she says 'Please let me go.' Then he says 'But I have one more gift for you. It something that will make you remember me forever. A tattoo.' he then takes out a carving knife and starts to carve marks on her forhead. And as soon as he's done he says 'Were gonna be together **FOREVER!**' Then Penny dies.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


	4. Every Holiday's for Love

**Hobo:** Greetings my friends and welcome to a Hobo Christmas review.

**Hobo Christmas Review**

**Hobo:** This holiday season, a user on this site has decided to give me something very special this christmas. A ROOM! NONE OF YOU MAY KNOW THIS BUT WHERE I DO MY REVIEWS IS OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE! I'M MEAN COME ON THE REVIEWERS IN 'TALKING' GET TO REVIEW IN ROOMS, WHY CANT I? IT GETS REALLY COLD OUTSIDE! I MEAN COULDNT YOU GUYS JUST GIVING ME A-  
But I digress. Today we're going to look at a very special christmas classic. I'm of course talking about Every holiday's for love.

**Every holiday's for love**

Its Christmas time in Elmore high and there's this big party at the school and of course the star Gumball is excited for the party that he actually wears a suit. But his mother gives him the phrase 'the suit is to tight' and tells him to take it off. I wore something that was to tight for me once. It was either that or nothing. I mean I would FREEZE TO DEATH.

But Gumball was able to keep the suit on and his love interest comes to his door inviting him over to the party. She even goes so far as to opening her shell and showing him her true form. It turns out her true form is to amazing that Gumball faints at the sight of it. But he wakes up and takes her to the party. But as they get there all the men are to attached to Penny's appearance that they forget all about their dates and try to dance with her. 'Will you dance with me.' 'May I have this dance.' 'PLEASE DANCE WITH ME!'

As the night goes on everyone is enjoying themselves then Mr. Small asks Gumball to perform on stage. He then tells him that he'll do it under one condition, he wants to say one thing. 'I LOVE YOU PENNY!' and he sings a song.

While he singing Darwin places a mistletoe at a certain place. And as soon Gumball finished he went off the stage and Penny kisses him under the mistletoe causing people who saw to either to faint or be shocked. I once kissed a girl under the mistletoe, the result of that was a restraining order. And as soon as the party ends Penny wants to kiss him under the mistletoe one more time but Gumball complained about it but soon kisses her. And Darwin takes another picture of it so he can do who knows what with it.

This is the hobo saying DONT GO AWAY CHRISTMAS! I WANNA STAY IN THIS ROOM!

**Merry Christmas!**


	5. Life Cut Short

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**Life Cut Short**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE ITS A SPOLIER!

There's this girl named Penny who is staying after school on Halloween night with five other classmates. A paper bear, a flower, a piece of toast, a balloon and a rainbow-colored kid. And the rainbow-colored kid tells all of them a story of how he got grounded on every Halloween night. I was grounded on Halloween once. It was one of the worst nights of my life. I DIDNT GET CANDY!

And the story is so long that it takes up all the time of the meeting. So everyone is rushing to get out of there. All going there separate ways. Leaving Penny alone to walk home. But it turns out that all the doors are locked. She then runs everywhere for a door that's unlocked. But stops when she heard a someone shriek. 'AHHHHHHHHH'

Penny runs into the girls bathroom and finds her friend pointing at someone kneeling over the toilet with blood dripping near it. She then like 'What happened?' 'He's..he's..' 'It's okay I know you didn't mean it.' 'What are you talking about I didn't do it.'

Then all the other students come in the bathroom to see the dead body. 'Whats going on?' 'We'll gang looks like we got another mystery on our hands.'

So they go back to the room where the meeting was at. And everyone is freaking out trying to figure out who the killer is. 'It could be anybody.' It could be a guy.' 'It could be a girl.' 'It could even be YOU' **(Points at you)**

But the peanut girl is trying to keep everyone calm. By saying everything will be fine. But they keep saying that what people say before they get killed in a horror movie. Everyone is like 'What are we gonna do?' 'I wanna go home!' 'I dont wanna die.' Then Penny is like 'Everyone just say calm. No one is going to die! We're gonna be fi-'

But she's cut off after hearing someone scream. 'AHHHHHHHHHH'

And it turns out that some slipped a knife on the rainbow-colored kids forehead. Then everyone starts to panic. 'AHHHHHHHHHHH'

Then Penny is like 'WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE NOW!' But everyone is just focused on the rainbow colored kids corspe. Then shes like 'FORGET ABOUT HIM. WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE!'

Then she notices that there's a bite mark on the piece of toast. ***CRUCH* *CRUCH* *CRUCH* *CRUCH*** WHAT?! This is my lunch!

And the flower's stem was cut in half. ***SLASH***

And one the balloon is nowhere to be found. But Penny sees the paper bear and is like 'WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE.' But the paper bear is like. 'there is no escape we're the only two left. and we're both going to die.' Wow she's like a totally different bear.

She then punched Penny then jumps out the window and slowly falls to the ground and dies. Wait how would she die? I'm mean she's made of paper. If she wanted to kill herself couldn't she have just cut herself in half with something sharp?

So then Penny closes the window and sees a dark figure slowly heading towards her. And the girl lost all control of her legs and falls to the ground. And instead of the man figure stabbing her he just laughs. Then it turns out to be the rainbow-colored kid. Wait I thought he died.

But it turns out he was doing this all because she doesn't what her hanging around with Gumball. And he's going to blam all the murders on Penny. Then he stabs her in the stomach. She then swung the extinguisher at him ***CLANG* **that he fell on the floor.

She then grabs the blade and starts stabbing at him. 'DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!'

Then he dies. But then she realized that she was dying too. When all hoped seemed lost she sees the balloon come near her. She then tells him to get out of here and tell everyone that this was all the rainbow-colored kids fault. The balloon then goes and does what he was told. And then Penny dies.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


	6. The Cactus

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**The Cactus**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. I will do anything for SPOLIERS!

There's this cactus named Carmen who has this thing for a balloon. I had a balloon once, it was my best friend until it flew away.

So the cactus tries her best to leave not making eye contact with the balloon. But the balloon stops her and the group that he was with leaves them alone. The balloon then talks to her about how they can still...talk. But she gets all depressed and tells them that they can't be together due to her being a cactus and him being a balloon. Come on you guys can overcome it. You can be just like that dog and dolphin in that one movie.

But the balloon soon faces the facts and leaves the cactus where she stood. So she then goes to the cafeteria where she ate and talked with her friends. But then Gumball appears like **(Runs around)** 'RUN FOR YOUR LIFE'S, YOUR FOOD IS IN DANGER.'

Carmen then talks to the peanut girl about her relationship. She like 'Why do you go out with him? He tried to marry you last week?' 'Oh he was just acting weird that day.' 'Well I hate to tell you this, but after you left he asked me to marry him.' 'I'LL KILL HIM!'

So she goes over to a robot in her classroom. The robot sees her and he like '**How can I be of service?**' 'Yeah I would like a pair of scissors.' '**You will find them over there next to the big S.**' 'Thank you!'

A few hours later the balloon appears to be heading home and he sees Carmen bald. And they both kiss each other enjoying every moment of it. But then a group of kids appear and sees the cactus's new haircut and their like 'BALD BALD BALD BALD BALD' 'MY EYES!' ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT!

But the couple ignores them and just enjoyed the moment that they were sharing together.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


	7. The New Kid of Elmore

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**The new kid of Elmore**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. Class today we have a new SPOLIER!

There's this new kid named Danny who looks like a ghost. He meets up with a cat, a fish, and an actual ghost. But he soon finds out that the fish and cat both know karate. I took karate once, I kept getting hurt so I quit.

But then school ends and then it starts to rain. But the cats mother finds him and lets him stay the night at their house. I wish someone would let me stay at their house when it rains, THE RAIN IS COLD!

He then has to face the Karate Wieners. I can take those guys, all you have to do is eat them.

So after they finish all the karate Danny goes on their computer to email his family. Then he heads down stairs and the phone rings. So he decides to answer it and its the ghost girl and she's like 'I think I have a crush on the new kid.' Danny was shocked. So he decided to imitate the cat and says 'Why do you say that?' 'Because he doesn't mock me and he said we can hang out.'

So he hangs up and tells everyone it was a wrong number in the cats voice then went to sleep.

The next day they go to school and this cloud girl was all over Danny. As soon as they go inside the school they all go to the bathroom at the same time. For some reason.

Then he meets up with a balloon and a robot. And there both jealous that the new kid is a chick magnet. While that was happening the ghost girl floats over to the cat and finds out that Danny was the one she was talking to that night. Then the peanut girl picks up the cat and walks away...for some reason.

Then a few hours later Danny and the cat both got detention. Then some guys throw a stink bomb at them, but Danny throws it out the window and saves them both.

So the cat, the fish, the peanut, and the sister of one of guys who threw the stink bomb go on a double date. And it turns out Danny is being paid 100 dollars working as a waiter. *GASP* with that kind of money I could buy a refrigerator box.

So then the cloud girl appears with her family at the restaurant and sees that Danny is giving them food on the house that she decides to prank them. So she puts a fork on the floor and it made the waiter trip...for some reason, on the cat which caused his dessert landed on her. Then she leaves.

But it turns out that the dress she was wearing was her mom's and now she can't see him anymore. Poor guy.

So the next day he decides to hide in his locker to get out of class...for some reason. Then at lunch time the cat and Danny decided to not to be friends anymore. Meanwhile the fish decided to play hide and seek with a banana so he hides in the garbage can. HEY! GET OUT OF MY HOME!

Then the next day the group finds out that the guys who threw the stink bomb got the cat and Danny sick. So they decide to get them back by giving them diarrhea...for some reason.

Then Danny shows up and learns that Penny sold her dress and got money off it. So they decide to help Danny become friends with the cat again. And there both friends again.

After that Danny goes to the park with both the ghost and the cloud. And while the ghost gets her clip the cloud kisses Danny making her really depressed that she floated home. WHY DID YOU DO THAT CLOUD LADY? THE GHOST REALLY LIKES THIS BOY!

The next day he goes on the bus and finds out that has to choose to either sit with the cloud or the ghost. But then his friends save the day and he goes over to them.

Then while in the hallway he passes out and his friends take him to the nurses office. Carrie then decides to stay with him then is like 'I love you Danny.' 'What?' 'Uhhh hi!'

Then he tells her that he feels the same way and they kiss each other. Wait how would that work? Wouldnt she just go right through him?

But it turns out that she learned a new ghost ability by kissing him. That can make her touch things without going through them...…Ok I'll go with that I guess.

So then they eat and then head to class. Then the teacher is like 'What are you doing here? I sent you to detention.' I was at the nurse office.' 'That just gives you another detention.' 'He was sick you baboon!' **(Whole class) **'GASP' 'You just got yourself a detention as well.'

So they go to detention and Danny then goes to sleep while the ghost kisses him. But what she didn't know was that the cloud was watching her. It was on.

While that was happening the fish and cat walk up to the T-rex and the fish is like 'My friend wants to-' 'NOOOO DONT DO IT.' 'Fight you!' '**I accept your challenge!**' **(she said before leaving)** 'YOU SON OF A BITCH!'

So the next day a battle is about to start and its T-rex vs. Kitty. TAKING ALL BETS PEOPLE! TAKING ALL BETS!

And as the fight goes on the cat wins the fight. DAMNIT!

But it turns out that the t-rex landed on Danny and they take him to the hospital. And after a few hours his family arrives and the doctor is like 'I'm sorry but your son will never walk again.' 'NOOOOOOOOOOOO!'

Then the cloud argues with the ghost and is like 'This is all your fault! Stay away from him or else.' 'Or else what?' 'Or else I'll tell everyone your losing your emo personality. You'll lose everything.' 'Oh no your right! Ok I'll stay away.'

The next day everyone is making fun of Danny while his friends defend him from them. But as the day passes he finds the ghost and tries to talk to her but she floats away from him 'WAIT COME BACK!' but it's no use. However he finds out that the cloud is blackmailing the ghost.

As Danny goes home he calls the fish and is like 'Hey whats up?' 'Nothing. My brother got a kiss. No biggie.' 'What do you mean no biggie can't you understand love.' 'I cant understand anything.' **(looks at the author of the story) **Really? You think that's funny? No! This is funny **(Rides on a unicycle while juggling but falls off and hurts his leg) **Pfff...Aahhh...Pfff...Ahhh...Pfff...Ahh.

So the next day the fish and cat go over to the cloud girl and distract her while Danny went looking for the ghost. But then he decides to go to the nurses office...for some reas- WHY ARE THEY DOING THESE THINGS?

But it turns out that he can actually walk after his legs were crushed by a t-rex...…...…...…...works for me.

So he decides to look for the ghost but finds out that she is with the cloud. Then when he gets to her the cloud her tries to get her out of the picture. But he like 'I love this ghost and no matter what you say I wont feel the same about you.' the cloud floats away crying a storm.

Then the ghost comes up to her and the cloud is like 'What do you want?' 'Wanna be friends.' 'Ok.'

So they float back to Danny and they forgive each other. And everyone is happy.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


	8. The Amazing World of Truth or Dare

**And now its time for Hobo reviews. Todays review:**

**The Amazing World of Truth or Dare**

**Hobo:** OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST FANFIC I'VE EVER READ IN MY LIFE. Truth or SPOLIERS!

Theres these kids playing truth or dare and this cat named Gumball starts it off by daring a robot to cover itself with garbage. So the robot jumped into a dumpster. HEY GET OUT OF MY HOME!

Then the robot comes out and picks the rainbow kid and he picks truth. Then the robot says something in an unknown language. '**!3 !t Tru3 tht You hv3 T3 Prty 3very Dy w!th gr0up 0f Stuff3d n!m|s?**' I CANT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR SAYING!

But the rainbow kid says no and then picks Gumball and asked 'Truth or Dare?' '**TRIPLE DOG DARE!**' GASP YOUR A MAD MAN! A MAAADD MAAAANNNN!

So he dares him to run through Town Center covered in garbage, screaming that he's stupid and in underwear. I DID THAT ONCE! I had to spend a few days in jail.

Then he returns and dares a piece of toast to eat...a piece of toast in front of his family. YOU SICK KITTY!

And the toast does it in front of his family and there like 'I HAVE NO SON!'

So he goes back to them and asked the question to the fish. But he picks truth. And he asked 'Do you eat stuffed animals at night!' '...Yes!' then everyone is shocked when they hear this. I don't know why there so shocked for I've done it a few times and nobody complained about it...Except maybe that one time.

Then the fish asks the question to a minotaur and she 'TRIPLE DOG DARE!' What is with kids doing triple dog dares these days.

So the fish dares her to go to a karaoke bar, after eating a can of explosive beans and then fart on the microphone.

Then the next day the minotaur is humiliated but then starts to laugh again she sees Gumball slip off a banana peel and crashed out the window. Possibly killing him.

This is the hobo saying **(pulls up a paper cup) **CHANGE?! YA GOT CHANGE?! AW C'MON, HELP A GUY OUT, WILL YA? C'MON, CHANGE!

**Thank You**


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